the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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