So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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