Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
