If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Randomize
