it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
