So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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