I wish I only lived at night.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
handjob tips. give me some.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize