she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
