Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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