I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
