I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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