Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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