My balls are so social today.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
