Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
