Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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