Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.