We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
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If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
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I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.