She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself