So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.