WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine