well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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