i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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