So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background