his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.