she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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