Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
