We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
