idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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