I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
