Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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