I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
And then my night got REAL pukey
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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