my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Text me some of your sweat
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
