the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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