Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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