It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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