No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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