Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
