At least make sure they are 18
Why
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
