Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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