I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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