Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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