i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
