hotel room ftw
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
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