After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
