she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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