the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
