and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
