I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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