I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
