At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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