i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
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