We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize