She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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