i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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