at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
