Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
