If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
