I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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