just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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