I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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