in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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