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I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You were trust falling into bushes
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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