I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
