So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
