I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
there was a trapeze. enough said
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
