He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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