Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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