Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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