Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
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Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
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If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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